2613 The Basics of Coaching Is Playing Catch: Receive the Other Person’s Ball Fully

 

The Trigger

I recently read a book (title to be added) that said the foundation of coaching and communication is playing catch. It sounds obvious, but it’s surprisingly hard to practice.

How Catch Falls Apart

Playing catch means throwing balls the other person can receive. Catch doesn’t work when you:

• Throw a fastball the other person can’t possibly catch
• Throw in a different direction from where they are
• Let the ball drop short of them

The Same Thing Happens in Conversation

In conversation, I recognize these patterns in myself. While someone is talking, I start thinking of another idea. I turn their story into one of my own examples. My attention drifts from listening to my own thoughts. In that moment, I’m not receiving the ball they’ve thrown.

What Matters in Coaching

It’s the same in coaching. First, receive the other person’s ball properly. Then return it and complete that exchange. And when the next ball comes, do the same.

In that repetition, the other person comes to feel safe speaking, and starts to organize their own experience and thinking. The coach’s role isn’t to throw fastballs and lead the way. It’s to keep returning balls the other person can catch.

In Project Management Too

The same breakdown in catch happens in project work.

Take a client hearing, for example. While listening, my mind is already on the next proposal or a similar case from the past. Or when a team member says, “I’m a little worried,” I switch the subject to my own experience before hearing what the worry is. In both cases, I’m throwing in a different direction without receiving the other person’s ball.

So I want to keep three things in mind:

• Receive: Listen until they finish, without inserting my own thoughts.
• Return and complete: Summarize back (“So, what you’re saying is...”) and confirm I haven’t drifted from their intent.
• Receive the next ball too: Only after confirming, return a question or a proposal.

It may sound obvious, but I believe requirement mismatches and overlooked small concerns can be prevented through this kind of accumulated listening. As a reminder to myself, I want to make it a habit to receive the other person’s ball all the way through firs